What Real Self-Love looks like (it's not what you think)

We are constantly being told how we need to love our self and make our self care a priority. But on the real, sometimes hearing that can be annoying, not only because it sounds like a slogan and somewhat cliché, it is a hell of a lot easier said than it is to practice. Especially if you spent most of your life doing just to opposite. So then, what does it actually look like to really love and care about yourself? Let's unpack that.


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Having been on a self-loving, self-caring journey, I can tell you it is way more than a manicure or pedicure, buying yourself flowers, or soaking away your troubles in an essential oiled laced bath with your favorite glass of wine in hand.


It is an unfolding, an un-layering, and an undoing of all the ways you have unloved yourself - sometimes it looks like a mess; a radical reaction to realizing how much you have ripped yourself off. Sometimes it is being faithless to others in order to be faithful to you. It is choosing you opposed to losing you. It is knowing what you want and more importantly what you don't and making sure those who need to know that, actually KNOW THAT!


It is a releasing, a refocusing, a remembering and reminder that you are not here to feed the convenience of others. It is an investment in who you want to be now, tomorrow, and maybe 5 years down the road. It is a transformation of how you think and a declaration of how you feel. It is every little action you take that brings you closer to you. It is doing what is best for you and living what's true for you. It is a christening, a baptism and a new birth. It is prying your hands off of the guilt, shame and insecurity you've been holding on to. It is the collection of the pieces you gave to the ungrateful and the ones you left on the floor of those who hated on you.


Sometimes it's a break-up, a break-down, a breakthrough and breaking open.


It is reclaiming your time, your energy and your power. It is you for you every minute and every hour. It is being ok with a lot of discomfort because you know in the end healing is the prize. It's how you stand up, how you show up, it's how you rise.


Self Love is un-tucking all the parts of you and being who you are AS YOU ARE! It is trusting yourself to be yourself and believing that is enough.

That's what real self-love looks like. It's living a life you don't need to run from, but one you need to run to.


Self-Love is. . .


The act of unbecoming everything you were never meant to be in the first place and embracing who you are as you are.”


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