We all want love. We want someone to make us feel good about ourselves. That is the problem.
The number one reason you don't have the love you want is because the love you need is your own. You have not yet realized that every relationship you have is with yourself. That's why you keep running into the same issues, the same pain, the same flaws, and the same men, because those are unresolved matters in you.
You don't realize that it is not that you can't find love, love can't find you. On some level you believe you are unlovable so you are receiving back the energy you are projecting. You want love to change your life. But love can't change you, only you can. What you are looking for in someone else is what you are not giving to yourself. So you modify and and revise yourself, tucking away pieces of yourself hoping that will make you more attractive, but it doesn't. You only end up attracting what you have gone to such great lengths to hide. So it boils down to you against you, and that's the point of it all. Healing you. Loving you.
The quality of love you receive will always match the quality of love you give, not so much to others, but to yourself. Right now you are in waiting and while you wait, there are things you can do to be the kind of person you ultimately want to attract. Sometimes we want to hide out in a relationship hoping it will magically fill our voids, and when it doesn't, we form judgments about the one we are in relationship with. We break apart and move on to the next one, not realizing that we carry the same unhealed, unresolved issues with us.
Relationships expose us in a way nothing else can. It shows us who we are, who we need to be, and ultimately who we want to become. What we cannot do and what relationships were never meant to be, is a crime scene where we extort our lover to do and be what we want them to be, while we do nothing to fix ourselves. It is too much responsibility to expect someone else to be everything we need them to be, when we you are not everything you need to be.
4 Things You Can do in the Meantime (this will not be easy, but it will be worth it)
Get clear about what you want and what you don't.
Accept that you, and you alone are responsible for how you feel about yourself.
Admit some shit to yourself. You can't have an expectation of commitment and faithfulness, when you constantly betray yourself.
Face your insecurities, acknowledge your pain, be willing to sit with and deal with what is unresolved in you. You must unravel the emotional toxicity in you. If you don't do your work, why should anyone else have to carry the weight of your issues while bearing the burden of their own.